Anna and the French Kiss (NEW)

  • Hardcover
  • 372
  • Anna and the French Kiss
  • Stephanie Perkins
  • English
  • 07 August 2019
  • 9780525423270

Stephanie Perkins ☆ 3 free read

Anna and the French Kiss review Ý eBook or Kindle ePUB Stephanie Perkins ☆ 3 free read Anna is looking forward to her senior year in Atlanta where she has a great job a loyal best friend and a crush on the verge of becoming Which is why she is. When I was four I fell off a tree I hit the ground face first What I didn t know was that there was a very small sharp root sticking out of the ground at the base of the tree It went through my cheek I went to the ER but had to wait until 2am because it was a busy night I sat there for hours in that ER with a hole in my cheek When the doctor finally saw me he thought that since it was a busy night and there were so many people in the ER that he would just sew up my cheek without having to wait for an anesthetic And he did He sewed my cheek back together with no pain relief I have never experienced pain like that again in my life Until now Anna and the French Kiss was painful than that night in hospital It is a lifeless desolate lump of a novel Its only purpose in this world is as a gauge by which we measure bad novels This is the bottom of the gauge and Twilight is at the top Anna is the stupidest person I ve ever come across in fiction She is a self confessed film buff and hopes to one day become America s leading film critic She obviously must know A LOT about film then eh sigh She s a supposed film buff but yet knows nothing of Paris PARIS The home of fucking film At one point in the novel she is genuinely SURPRISED that Paris has cinemas FUCKING CINEMAS How can she be so incredibly ignorant of the place where film was fucking invented and know literally nothing of French cinema BUT YET call herself a fan of film Ridiculous She eventually actually goes to the cinema a couple of times but lo and behold what does she watch American films She in the home of film and she watches American films I can t deal with this girl Oh but let us for one second talk about the love interest Mr My Name Is So French It s Borderline Racist tienne St Clair He is literally every male love interest YA cliche rolled into one festering tumour of a character He s American BUT has a British accent he has messy hair BUT his room is meticulously clean he s book smart smells nice and is probably the Second Coming of Christ He is UNBEARABLE He s like Augustus Water but this guy doesn t have the common courtesy to die at the end How rudeI hated everything about this novel It felt unresearched rushed and in places dumbed down It is written in a style that I can only describe as unemployed Sex and the City screen writer I wish this novel came with a warning Keep out of reach of children and teenagers and adults dogs garden gnomes your grandmother school janitors priests gibbons and especially anybody who lives in Paris because this novel is an insult to their cityI ll finish with a uote from one of my favourite film critics Roger Ebert who gets a mention in this novel and I m pretty sure he s turning in his grave because of it I ll manipulate the uote a bit but the sentiment still prevails This book doesn t scrape the bottom of the barrel This book isn t the bottom of the barrel This book isn t below the bottom of the barrel This book doesn t deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels Nation as Mother root sticking out of the ground at the base of the tree It went through my cheek I went to the ER but had to wait until 2am because it was a busy night I sat there for hours in that ER with a hole in my cheek When the doctor finally saw me he thought that since it was a busy night and there were so many people in the ER that he would just sew up my cheek without having to wait for an anesthetic And he did He sewed my cheek back together with no pain Provenzalische Verwicklungen relief I have never experienced pain like that again in my life Until now Anna and the French Kiss was painful than that night in hospital It is a lifeless desolate lump of a novel Its only purpose in this world is as a gauge by which we measure bad novels This is the bottom of the gauge and Twilight is at the top Anna is the stupidest person I ve ever come across in fiction She is a self confessed film buff and hopes to one day become America s leading film critic She obviously must know A LOT about film then eh sigh She s a supposed film buff but yet knows nothing of Paris PARIS The home of fucking film At one point in the novel she is genuinely SURPRISED that Paris has cinemas FUCKING CINEMAS How can she be so incredibly ignorant of the place where film was fucking invented and know literally nothing of French cinema BUT YET call herself a fan of film Ridiculous She eventually actually goes to the cinema a couple of times but lo and behold what does she watch American films She in the home of film and she watches American films I can t deal with this girl Oh but let us for one second talk about the love interest Mr My Name Is So French It s Borderline Racist tienne St Clair He is literally every male love interest YA cliche Things to leave behind rolled into one festering tumour of a character He s American BUT has a British accent he has messy hair BUT his Lover Awakened Part 1 Black Dagger Brotherhood #3 room is meticulously clean he s book smart smells nice and is probably the Second Coming of Christ He is UNBEARABLE He s like Augustus Water but this guy doesn t have the common courtesy to die at the end How The Stench rudeI hated everything about this novel It felt unresearched The Life Tree Poems rushed and in places dumbed down It is written in a style that I can only describe as unemployed Sex and the City screen writer I wish this novel came with a warning Keep out of The Painter reach of children and teenagers and adults dogs garden gnomes your grandmother school janitors priests gibbons and especially anybody who lives in Paris because this novel is an insult to their cityI ll finish with a uote from one of my favourite film critics Roger Ebert who gets a mention in this novel and I m pretty sure he s turning in his grave because of it I ll manipulate the uote a bit but the sentiment still prevails This book doesn t scrape the bottom of the barrel This book isn t the bottom of the barrel This book isn t below the bottom of the barrel This book doesn t deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels

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Anna and the French Kiss

Anna and the French Kiss review Ý eBook or Kindle ePUB Stephanie Perkins ☆ 3 free read Ing a serious girlfriend But in the City of Light wishes have a way of coming true Will a year of romantic near misses end with their long awaited French ki. Edited to Add a Disgruntled Reader s Reply at the Bottom Apparently I don t know how to write reviewsThe best thing about this book The endI don t read chick lit In fact I avoid it like the plague But this book received rave reviews from every single person on my friendlist So I thought hey why not Maybe this won t be like the formulaic Mary Kate and Ashley movies my teachers made me watch in first grade Maybe Anna will be smart and witty And maybe Etienne will be awesome I m too optimistic Like The Duff this book suffers from wish fulfillment don t tell me this book is realistic I beg to differ It s a fantasy And there s nothing wrong with that except when the protagonist is a self righteous hypocritical bitch I ve never been able to relate to rich annoying white girls which is rather strange considering that 40% of my K 12 experience was spent with them I can relate to wizards dragon riders and thieves but not this special brand of Mary Sue She s a combination of a Relationship Sue a Black Hole Sue and she s something of an Anti SuehttptvtropesorgpmwikipmwikiphphttptvtropesorgpmwikipmwikiphphttptvtropesorgpmwikipmwikiphpAnna also has an extreme case of dickmatization I love that word If you re reading thank you for introducing it to me Princess Dickmatized When a girl can not concentrate on anything else because she is distracted with the DICK of her latest piece of ass Her work is jeopardized she s a sell out to her girlfriends she picks up his shit including his kids or whatever She will do whatever it takes for the DICK Even if the dick isn t all that great she doesn t know the difference because she is dickmatizedIf we take Anna out of the euation this could be a decent book But as it stands I can t bother to care about her petty melodramatic woes Don t get me wrong the supporting cast wasn t bad though they were carbon copies of every single cast from every other teen romantic comedy The author takes potshots at Nicholas Sparks for using cancer as a plot device but she does the same thing If anything at least Sparks is a little original He uses a different disease every single time It seems like Perkins watched a few Disney specials and decided to write a book staring Hillary Duff Ashley Olsen Mary Kate Olsen a uirky original heroine And judging by the positive reviews she succeeded Well if Stephenie Meyer doesn t get you Stephanie Perkins will Anna is kind of like Miles Halter from Looking for Alaska But Miles actually fits in with his group Anna is like a fanfiction writer s brilliant but failed attempt at creating an OC She attracts the attention of almost all the guys in the book sans three her brother her ex boyfriend and Josh the boyfriend of her friend She s beautiful and her arch enemy is the evil slutty rat faced Amanda She s a complete rip off of Lauren from How to Be Popular And coincidentally Anna attracts the attention of Etienne St Clair the hottest guy in school When he walks past girls gape Right This is me rolling my eyes But wait Etienne has a girlfriend Ellie Yup Ellie is our contrived bullshit roadblock the reason why our two fated lovers cannot be togetherI d like to write a bit about conflict If your hero has a bitchy girlfriend and your MC is supposedly nice he looks like an idiot when he stays with that girlfriend For a love triangle to work there must be a valid reason as to why the girl or guy is caught in the middle of two people Demeaning one of the love interests is not only low but it makes me think you were too afraid to write a real relationship that didn t revolve around cliches and tropesIt s rather humorous that every girl Anna dislikes is evil and every guy she dislikes is either dirty or a dick Yet her friends and true love St Clair himself are clean attractive and ever so intelligent This is bullshit If this were a play I d call it Anna and the French DickLet s get acuainted with the rest of our cast Ellie St Clair s girlfriend She s plain and doesn t appreciate her friends which is why Anna is better than her Bridgette She s Anna s bestfriend She also steals Anna s boyfriend Amanda Blonde Bitchy Catty Slutty Give me a fucking break Meredith Sporty smart in love with St Clair Amanda calls her a dyke I hated Anna for using her and abusing their friendship Heads up Do not abandon your friends for a guy Especially when you know that your friend likes that guy You are a bitch if you don t have the guts to talk to her and explain that the guy likes you not her Hmm sounds like Anna s beef with Bridgette Moving on Anna Judgmental Hypocritical Self righteous Brunette Yeah She basically shits on everyone who doesn t agree with her or who stands in the way of St Clair s dick Her uirk She knows a lot of shit about old movies It was contrived and I didn t get half of the movies she namedropped John Green you do it better Josh A mouthpiece for how awesome St Clair is According to him when you flirt with two girls even if you have a girlfriend you re not leading them onEtienne St Clair Resident Marty Stu His mother is dying from cancer His father is evil Every guy in school wants to be him Every girl wants to date him Every guy he doesn t like is evil And he s the most attractive guy in the world Even the way he chews gives Anna an orgasm It s pathetic His only flaw He s too much of a coward to dump his girlfriend But honestly that s only for the convenience of the plot Take Anna out of the picture and I might have liked St Clair if the author didn t use Josh as a mouthpiece for how awesome he isDavid A dick He liked AnnaToph A dick He liked AnnaMatt Anna s ex He s a slobRashmi Our token PoC She has no relevance to the plot other than to be our shipper on deck In another story I would ve liked her In this book she s only there to make Anna feel better than Ellie Not only does Perkins fail to wrap up Anna s conflict with her parents something even Kody Keplinger who s debut was like a mash up of All American Girl and Perfect You managed to do but she also delivered two very special messages in the last fifty pages We get some bullshit slut shaming is wrong message though Anna spent 300pgs whining about how unfair her life was when Ellie that plain girl was sleeping with St Clair and in the first 50pgs she made a remark about Amanda s cleavage Then we get two paragraphs of gay is okay I know that making fun of gay people is wrong And I know that slut shaming is wrong I don t need you Perkins to step on your soapbox and convince me that Anna is a beautiful PC person like PC Cast does with Zoey RedbirdNever again will I fall prey to the hype Granted this is romantic fluff but that s no excuse The writing was decent but give me Sara Zarr Sarah Dessen or Elizabeth Scott over Stephanie Perkins Hell I d rather read the entire Twilight Saga than read this againIn case you couldn t tell I didn t like this book 15 stars Date Comment Deleted 12411Commentator V Arrow aimmyarrowshighReason Apparently I don t know how to write a valid criticism of a contemporary romanceComment If you have never taken a class on media criticism and I d venture that you haven t the first rule of critiue is that you should judge within the same genre and for its intent and purpose The genre of this book is YA contemp romance Does it fulfill a romantic plotline without straying into age inappropriate issues Yes It fulfills the genre criteria The main audience of YA contemp romance middle class and upper middle class English speaking girls between 14 54 Does this book cohesively create a fictional construct that would reflect and be recognizable in their world Yes There is nothing wrong with a book about first world problems when the purpose and intent of the book is to be a romance for teenagers Insofar as actual criticism Anna and the French Kiss is tantamount to being a perfect example of its genre and fulfilling the purpose for its audience So again the uestion begs if you knew you would not like it and did not know how to adeuately and maturely review it after choosing to read something you were predisposed to disliking why bother My reply I write contemporary romance I write romcoms I think I know a little about the common tropes found in the genre I ve read almost every popular romcom script and written lengthy reviews for several popular bromances I was actually going to major in Film before I realized my university only offered media arts at which point I decided to choose Architecture I d wager that V needs to do a little bit research on me before she decides to comment on my reviews Regardless of the genre a novel shouldn t make use of old boring tropes without trying to apply any sort of originality to them This read like a re hash of every single bad teen movie I ve ever seen And frankly that s tiring Even worse It adds nothing new to the genre Now romcoms are very formulaic but that s no excuse 500 Days of Summer was a success because it added an extra dimension to Boy Meets Girl Boy Loses Girl Boy Gets Girl BackNow instead of getting upset at my criticism I suggest that if V wants to comment here again she looks at the points I made and tries to debate those instead of getting in a huff over a book she rated five stars receiving negative criticism Because really telling me that I don t know how to review is rather dim when she doesn t know how to have a proper debate By the way all of the books I referenced in this review are vastly superior contemporary romances Also I will never understand the if you don t like it don t read it argument as I m not a mind reader I ve read books and scripts I didn t expect to like Legally Blonde and I came away thoroughly impressed So no that argument is not valid Das vergessene Reich Weltenmagie #2 romantic near misses end with their long awaited French ki. Edited to Add a Disgruntled Reader s Reply at the Bottom Apparently I don t know how to write The Forever Ship reviewsThe best thing about this book The endI don t Das vergessene Reich Weltenmagie #2 read chick lit In fact I avoid it like the plague But this book The Patriotic Murders received Die Krumpflinge Egon wird erwischt rave The Instant Millionaire reviews from every single person on my friendlist So I thought hey why not Maybe this won t be like the formulaic Mary Kate and Ashley movies my teachers made me watch in first grade Maybe Anna will be smart and witty And maybe Etienne will be awesome I m too optimistic Like The Duff this book suffers from wish fulfillment don t tell me this book is Become a Psychic Wanderer realistic I beg to differ It s a fantasy And there s nothing wrong with that except when the protagonist is a self The Little Italian Bakery righteous hypocritical bitch I ve never been able to The Little Italian Bakery relate to Die Wahrheit und andere Lügen rich annoying white girls which is Insurgent rather strange considering that 40% of my K 12 experience was spent with them I can Sweet Southern Hearts A Willow Hill Novel #3 relate to wizards dragon uimera riders and thieves but not this special brand of Mary Sue She s a combination of a Relationship Sue a Black Hole Sue and she s something of an Anti SuehttptvtropesorgpmwikipmwikiphphttptvtropesorgpmwikipmwikiphphttptvtropesorgpmwikipmwikiphpAnna also has an extreme case of dickmatization I love that word If you The High Lord re The High Lord reading thank you for introducing it to me Princess Dickmatized When a girl can not concentrate on anything else because she is distracted with the DICK of her latest piece of ass Her work is jeopardized she s a sell out to her girlfriends she picks up his shit including his kids or whatever She will do whatever it takes for the DICK Even if the dick isn t all that great she doesn t know the difference because she is dickmatizedIf we take Anna out of the euation this could be a decent book But as it stands I can t bother to care about her petty melodramatic woes Don t get me wrong the supporting cast wasn t bad though they were carbon copies of every single cast from every other teen La Nina Errante romantic comedy The author takes potshots at Nicholas Sparks for using cancer as a plot device but she does the same thing If anything at least Sparks is a little original He uses a different disease every single time It seems like Perkins watched a few Disney specials and decided to write a book staring Hillary Duff Ashley Olsen Mary Kate Olsen a uirky original heroine And judging by the positive Sacrilege reviews she succeeded Well if Stephenie Meyer doesn t get you Stephanie Perkins will Anna is kind of like Miles Halter from Looking for Alaska But Miles actually fits in with his group Anna is like a fanfiction writer s brilliant but failed attempt at creating an OC She attracts the attention of almost all the guys in the book sans three her brother her ex boyfriend and Josh the boyfriend of her friend She s beautiful and her arch enemy is the evil slutty An Outsider’s Guide to Statically Typed Functional Programming rat faced Amanda She s a complete Die Wahrheit und andere Lügen rip off of Lauren from How to Be Popular And coincidentally Anna attracts the attention of Etienne St Clair the hottest guy in school When he walks past girls gape Right This is me The Truth Commission rolling my eyes But wait Etienne has a girlfriend Ellie Yup Ellie is our contrived bullshit Die Hummerkönige roadblock the La hora de la revancha ¡Gol #10 reason why our two fated lovers cannot be togetherI d like to write a bit about conflict If your hero has a bitchy girlfriend and your MC is supposedly nice he looks like an idiot when he stays with that girlfriend For a love triangle to work there must be a valid Los vampiros originales El uinto sello III reason as to why the girl or guy is caught in the middle of two people Demeaning one of the love interests is not only low but it makes me think you were too afraid to write a Romances de Tango Coleccion Biografias y Documentos real You Had Me at Hello World relationship that didn t Zumos y otros secretos revolve around cliches and tropesIt s Flores rather humorous that every girl Anna dislikes is evil and every guy she dislikes is either dirty or a dick Yet her friends and true love St Clair himself are clean attractive and ever so intelligent This is bullshit If this were a play I d call it Anna and the French DickLet s get acuainted with the Starfinder Adventure Path #12 Heart of Night rest of our cast Ellie St Clair s girlfriend She s plain and doesn t appreciate her friends which is why Anna is better than her Bridgette She s Anna s bestfriend She also steals Anna s boyfriend Amanda Blonde Bitchy Catty Slutty Give me a fucking break Meredith Sporty smart in love with St Clair Amanda calls her a dyke I hated Anna for using her and abusing their friendship Heads up Do not abandon your friends for a guy Especially when you know that your friend likes that guy You are a bitch if you don t have the guts to talk to her and explain that the guy likes you not her Hmm sounds like Anna s beef with Bridgette Moving on Anna Judgmental Hypocritical Self Die Entdeckung des Higgs Teilchens righteous Brunette Yeah She basically shits on everyone who doesn t agree with her or who stands in the way of St Clair s dick Her uirk She knows a lot of shit about old movies It was contrived and I didn t get half of the movies she namedropped John Green you do it better Josh A mouthpiece for how awesome St Clair is According to him when you flirt with two girls even if you have a girlfriend you Oscar and Lucinda by Peter Carey Lesson Plans re not leading them onEtienne St Clair Resident Marty Stu His mother is dying from cancer His father is evil Every guy in school wants to be him Every girl wants to date him Every guy he doesn t like is evil And he s the most attractive guy in the world Even the way he chews gives Anna an orgasm It s pathetic His only flaw He s too much of a coward to dump his girlfriend But honestly that s only for the convenience of the plot Take Anna out of the picture and I might have liked St Clair if the author didn t use Josh as a mouthpiece for how awesome he isDavid A dick He liked AnnaToph A dick He liked AnnaMatt Anna s ex He s a slobRashmi Our token PoC She has no Plain Killing An Amish Mystery #2 relevance to the plot other than to be our shipper on deck In another story I would ve liked her In this book she s only there to make Anna feel better than Ellie Not only does Perkins fail to wrap up Anna s conflict with her parents something even Kody Keplinger who s debut was like a mash up of All American Girl and Perfect You managed to do but she also delivered two very special messages in the last fifty pages We get some bullshit slut shaming is wrong message though Anna spent 300pgs whining about how unfair her life was when Ellie that plain girl was sleeping with St Clair and in the first 50pgs she made a Wonderful World remark about Amanda s cleavage Then we get two paragraphs of gay is okay I know that making fun of gay people is wrong And I know that slut shaming is wrong I don t need you Perkins to step on your soapbox and convince me that Anna is a beautiful PC person like PC Cast does with Zoey RedbirdNever again will I fall prey to the hype Granted this is Kelpers Ni ingleses ni argentinos Cómo es la nación ue crece frente a nuestras costas romantic fluff but that s no excuse The writing was decent but give me Sara Zarr Sarah Dessen or Elizabeth Scott over Stephanie Perkins Hell I d Kamikazes rather O Cultivo De Flores De Plástico read the entire Twilight Saga than The Taste of Words romanceComment If you have never taken a class on media criticism and I d venture that you haven t the first Y por eso rompimos Episodio 6 rule of critiue is that you should judge within the same genre and for its intent and purpose The genre of this book is YA contemp ué escondes en la mano romance Does it fulfill a Fans of the Impossible Life romantic plotline without straying into age inappropriate issues Yes It fulfills the genre criteria The main audience of YA contemp Evolution and the Fall romance middle class and upper middle class English speaking girls between 14 54 Does this book cohesively create a fictional construct that would ¿Vosotros cómo os conocisteis? Las nuevas aventuras de emilia y mauricio #1 reflect and be ¿Vosotros cómo os conocisteis? Las nuevas aventuras de emilia y mauricio #1 recognizable in their world Yes There is nothing wrong with a book about first world problems when the purpose and intent of the book is to be a Twenty uestions for Gloria romance for teenagers Insofar as actual criticism Anna and the French Kiss is tantamount to being a perfect example of its genre and fulfilling the purpose for its audience So again the uestion begs if you knew you would not like it and did not know how to adeuately and maturely Bajo el sol de Sannar review it after choosing to Yo te uise más read something you were predisposed to disliking why bother My Trio Beta 3 Amigas al rescate reply I write contemporary Mortadelo y Filemón MaastrichtJesús romance I write To Wed a Highlander romcoms I think I know a little about the common tropes found in the genre I ve Bobby Blanchard Lesbian Gym Teacher read almost every popular Ravengar romcom script and written lengthy Imagen de John Keats reviews for several popular bromances I was actually going to major in Film before I The Devil's Laughter realized my university only offered media arts at which point I decided to choose Architecture I d wager that V needs to do a little bit The Girl in the Woods Waterman and Stark #1 research on me before she decides to comment on my The Fall reviews Regardless of the genre a novel shouldn t make use of old boring tropes without trying to apply any sort of originality to them This Two Thieves read like a Holding Up the Universe re hash of every single bad teen movie I ve ever seen And frankly that s tiring Even worse It adds nothing new to the genre Now Hasta pronto capitan ¡Gol #7 romcoms are very formulaic but that s no excuse 500 Days of Summer was a success because it added an extra dimension to Boy Meets Girl Boy Loses Girl Boy Gets Girl BackNow instead of getting upset at my criticism I suggest that if V wants to comment here again she looks at the points I made and tries to debate those instead of getting in a huff over a book she Detectives imparables Wild Boy #2 rated five stars Belong To The Night includes The Long Island Coven #2 receiving negative criticism Because Iris really telling me that I don t know how to Fjällgraven review is Room n°1 rather dim when she doesn t know how to have a proper debate By the way all of the books I Room n°1 referenced in this Hamaca review are vastly superior contemporary In Vino Veritas romances Also I will never understand the if you don t like it don t The Horse In The Burrow read it argument as I m not a mind Biografia Involuntária dos Amantes reader I ve A Boneca de Kokoschka read books and scripts I didn t expect to like Legally Blonde and I came away thoroughly impressed So no that argument is not valid

summary ↠ eBook or Kindle ePUB ☆ Stephanie Perkins

Anna and the French Kiss review Ý eBook or Kindle ePUB Stephanie Perkins ☆ 3 free read Less than thrilled about being shipped off to boarding school in Paris until she meets Étienne St Clair Smart charming beautiful Étienne has it allinclud. No thanksWatch my full review here